Rengganis Rizka Prasanti The pandemic has put a pause on many of our daily activities, including the social interactions that come with it. While many of the restrictions, like going out to get groceries or eating out at restaurants, have been relaxed in many countries, we’ve all felt the isolation that comes during the first months of lockdown in 2020.
The usual gathering with friends in coffee shops and shopping malls were replaced with video calls and virtual movie nights. In a global pandemic where social interaction has been greatly reduced, feeling lonely is a thing we all have gone through.
While loneliness may be something normal, prolonged loneliness may potentially be harmful to our well-being. Before we get into that, let’s first talk about what loneliness is and isn’t.
What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness and being alone or social isolation are two different concepts. Loneliness is the subjective negative feeling that arises about being alone, while social isolation is the objective lack of social contact and interaction with others. We can live alone with little social interaction and not feel lonely. On the other hand, we can still feel lonely even when we are out spending time with friends.
Loneliness itself can be divided into social loneliness and emotional loneliness. Social loneliness is related to the lack of social networks, the perception that we do not have a community or circle of friends we belong to. Emotional loneliness is the feeling we have when we lack close attachment or relationship with others. For example, we may be lonely for a close friend, a sibling, a parent figure, or a romantic partner.
The Dangers of Loneliness
Being lonely is unpleasant. We’re more prone to negative emotions, such as sadness, anger, or anxiety, when we feel lonely or socially isolated. In addition, numerous studies have also shown that loneliness has long-term detrimental effects for both your physical and psychological health.
1. Physical Effects
While feeling lonely and sad from time to time is normal, prolonged loneliness can cause actual harm and may even have long-term negative impact on your physical health.
A study that analyzed 70 research papers with over 3 million participants concluded that there is up to 32 percent increased risk of premature death in individuals who were lonely or socially isolated. It’s considered a primary risk factor for health, nearing the effects of hypertension, increased lipid levels, lack of physical activity, obesity, and even smoking.
In another study, being lonely is associated with hypervigilance. Feeling lonely makes us highly alert, and this continuous state of hypervigilance increases stress hormones. Increased stress levels will impact our blood pressure and immune system.
2. Psychological Effects
We’ve all felt the effects of loneliness on our mood. You probably have noticed that during one of those days when you feel alone, you also get upset more easily. It turns out that loneliness has a much wider impact on our mental health.
One study found that loneliness correlates with higher levels of anxiety, anger, and negative mood in younger adults. It’s also associated with low optimism, social skills, and emotional stability. In another study by Eisenberger, Lieberman, & Williams (2003), the parts of the brain that were the most active when we get excluded in social activities are the same active ones when we feel physical pain.
Combating Loneliness
Dealing with loneliness may feel more challenging now that social activities are still greatly limited. We may spend our time alone more often than usual, but we don’t have to be lonely. Here are some tips to try out to deal with loneliness better.
1. Reach out to friends
We all have felt lonely from time to time, especially during the pandemic. Many of us may not choose to share it with others, however. We might feel that our friends may be too busy or have their own issues to deal with, which makes us reluctant to reach out to them.
While we may feel like that, both giving and receiving social support are actually the most important part of dealing with loneliness. In fact, giving social support may be more beneficial than we thought.
In a study about giving social support, people who give social support during stressful events show lower threat activity than those who receive support. This means that reaching out to your friends, even when they are busy or going through hard times, and giving them support can help you cope with loneliness.
2. Find a community
Social loneliness is about lack of community. With the internet, it’s so much easier to find communities and talk to people who have things in common with you. It’s especially useful now when face to face social activities are harder to do.
Don’t hesitate to start talking to new people and join communities online. You may look up communities for people who share the same hobbies, interests, or watch the same movies or play the same video game as you.
In the meantime, make sure to also maintain the connection you have to your close friends and family offline.
3. Talk about your feelings
While loneliness may be more common than we initially think, it may still feel uncomfortable to talk about it. Talking about loneliness means opening up about your feelings and being vulnerable with someone else.
Since women are more likely to talk about their feelings than men, many studies report more women feeling lonely than men. However, other studies prove otherwise, with loneliness being higher in male participants.
Not everyone can be comfortable talking about what they’re feeling openly, but admitting it to others can help you process it better. If you’re still hesitant to talk about it with someone else, anonymous platforms where you can talk freely and confide in someone else, like Reyo, may be beneficial for people like you.
Loneliness and being alone are two different things. In a time where face-to-face interactions with others are still limited, make sure we can cope with these feelings. By reaching out to friends, communities, and sharing your feelings with others, you, too, can still feel comfortable alone without being lonely.
References:
- Barreto, M., Victor, C., Hammond, C., Eccles, A., Richins, M. T., & Qualter, P. (2021). Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness. Personality and Individual Differences, 169, 110066.
- Cacioppo, J. T., Hawkley, L. C., Ernst, J. M., Burleson, M., Berntson, G. G., Nouriani, B., & Spiegel, D. (2006). Loneliness within a nomological net: An evolutionary perspective. Journal of research in personality, 40(6), 1054-1085.
- Fakoya, O.A., McCorry, N.K. & Donnelly, M. Loneliness and social isolation interventions for older adults: a scoping review of reviews. BMC Public Health 20, 129 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-020-8251-6
- Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of behavioral medicine, 40(2), 218-227.
- Inagaki, T. K., & Orehek, E. (2017). On the Benefits of Giving Social Support: When, Why, and How Support Providers Gain by Caring for Others. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 26(2), 109–113. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721416686212
- Valtorta, N., & Hanratty, B. (2012). Loneliness, isolation and the health of older adults: do we need a new research agenda?. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 105(12), 518-522.
